How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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