Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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