Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize