I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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