i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize