Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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