I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my being single is dangerous.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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