1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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