a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize