from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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