could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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