don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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