I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
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