I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize