I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize