Don't make out with my wife yet
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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