If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize