What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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