so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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