i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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