so that wasnt chicken after all
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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