Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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