you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize