bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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