he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize