I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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