Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
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I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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