can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize