So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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