So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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