i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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