she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
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holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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