Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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