rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize