Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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