dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize