Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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