Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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