you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
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We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
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My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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