smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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