Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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