Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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