I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize