Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
3pm strippers are depressing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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