Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
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That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize