Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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