My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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