i barfeds in our rink
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
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second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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