Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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