My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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